the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!! - Page 100

ESP · 1st Jun 2005, 06:22 PM

Ha... Ha... Ha... ha.

Papercut · 1st Jun 2005, 10:57 PM

A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

Adrian Wong · 1st Jun 2005, 11:54 PM

ROTFL!!!! HILARIOUS!!!

siddiq · 2nd Jun 2005, 12:42 AM

speechless

Chai · 2nd Jun 2005, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papercut

A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

Excellent stuff man!

Jet · 2nd Jun 2005, 01:46 PM

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joke of the week!!

zachig · 9th Jun 2005, 04:26 PM

Quote:

A guy has just returned from a trip to Africa and tells about his sexual experience there to his friend.

"When i had sex with that african girl, I put one condom, then rubbed spicy pepper on it and then another condom".

So the other guy asks:

"I can understand the two condoms, buy what is the spicy pepper for?"

"Oh", answers the first guy:

"When she screamed, I knew I'm on the spare!"

Adrian Wong · 10th Jun 2005, 10:09 PM

ROTFL!! That's a good one!

zy · 10th Jun 2005, 11:27 PM

wtf ? ..

.. like that also can ar?

dussandr · 11th Jun 2005, 10:13 AM

Guy walks into a bar with a sandwich under his arm. He orders a drink for himself, and one for the sandwich. The bartender tells him,

get this....

"mi nem szolgál étel itt"

LOL

1st Jun 2005, 06:22 PM	#991 (permalink)
ESP Super Active Join Date: 8 Jan 2005 Posts: 2,121 Reputation: 715 Rep Power: 13	Ha... Ha... Ha... ha. __________________ -eSp-

1st Jun 2005, 10:57 PM	#992 (permalink)
Papercut Hyperactive Join Date: 14 Jul 2004 Location: Singapore! Posts: 4,990 Reputation: 2428 Rep Power: 33	A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received. I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face I love your smile, your face, and your eyes - Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "go to hell" What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime __________________ PC Specs "Use in a cool dry place away from direct sunlight. Keep out of reach of n00bs. Overclock within 24 hours of opening. Do not read instructions before proceeding, do not use only as directed. May cause frustration, late nights and empty wallets. If symptoms persist please consult your hardware professional."

1st Jun 2005, 11:54 PM	#993 (permalink)
Adrian Wong Da Boss Join Date: 10 Oct 2002 Location: In front of my ASUS F8V notebook! Posts: 30,124 Reputation: 3081 Rep Power: 67	ROTFL!!!! HILARIOUS!!! __________________ Dr. Adrian Wong Tech ARP \| Blog @ Tech ARP \| The Free Trade Zone DYKT : The only offshore account I have is at the sand bank? Keep Tech ARP free! Visit our sponsors! We need PROGRAMMERS and TECHNICAL WRITERS! Contact us if you are a hot shot programmer or technical writer! My items for sale : 50x SD Card \| Memory Stick PRO \| Cyclone Energy Saver \| Seiko SS watch \| Tiger/Carlsberg beer jugs \| Travel Speakers \| Motorola V600 \| Nokia N90 SOLD! \| New Lowepro Mini Trekker AW Other items for sale @ the FTZ : Zalman CNPS9500 LED @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7700 Cu @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7000 Cu @ $20 \| Swarovski bracelet watches \| Dell 17" LCD \| Hi-Fi speakers \| English DIVX movies \| HP LaserJet toners! \| Office chairs

2nd Jun 2005, 12:42 AM	#994 (permalink)
siddiq Hold me back! I can't stop posting!!! Join Date: 16 Jun 2003 Location: Kuching, Sarawak , Malaysia Posts: 5,899 Reputation: 460 Rep Power: 15	speechless __________________ JOIN ARP WHATPULSE TEAM!

10th Jun 2005, 10:09 PM	#998 (permalink)
Adrian Wong Da Boss Join Date: 10 Oct 2002 Location: In front of my ASUS F8V notebook! Posts: 30,124 Reputation: 3081 Rep Power: 67	ROTFL!! That's a good one! __________________ Dr. Adrian Wong Tech ARP \| Blog @ Tech ARP \| The Free Trade Zone DYKT : The only offshore account I have is at the sand bank? Keep Tech ARP free! Visit our sponsors! We need PROGRAMMERS and TECHNICAL WRITERS! Contact us if you are a hot shot programmer or technical writer! My items for sale : 50x SD Card \| Memory Stick PRO \| Cyclone Energy Saver \| Seiko SS watch \| Tiger/Carlsberg beer jugs \| Travel Speakers \| Motorola V600 \| Nokia N90 SOLD! \| New Lowepro Mini Trekker AW Other items for sale @ the FTZ : Zalman CNPS9500 LED @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7700 Cu @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7000 Cu @ $20 \| Swarovski bracelet watches \| Dell 17" LCD \| Hi-Fi speakers \| English DIVX movies \| HP LaserJet toners! \| Office chairs

2nd Jun 2005, 01:46 PM	#996 (permalink)
Jet Hold me back! I can't stop posting!!! Join Date: 5 Sep 2004 Posts: 6,694 Reputation: 1274 Rep Power: 23	ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joke of the week!!

10th Jun 2005, 11:27 PM	#999 (permalink)
zy Dead Join Date: 16 Dec 2002 Location: Penang,Malaysia - Buffalo,New York Posts: 12,842 Reputation: 1998 Rep Power: 37	wtf ? .. .. like that also can ar? __________________ current: P4-3.2\|P4P800-Deluxe\|512x4-DDR\|NV6600 WD2500KS\|WD5000AAKS\|AD-7191A\|1860NX\|Z2300\|MP470 home (malaysia): P4C-2.6@3.1-StockHSF\|AI7\|256x2-BT-D43\|512x2-DT-D43\|A9600XT-VIVO WD1200JB\|2xWD2500KS\|DRU-800A\|DVD-E616P\|LTR-52327S\|152x\|V.S.4121\|iP1500 laptop: M1210\|T7200\|2GBDDR667\|160GB5K160\|GO7400

11th Jun 2005, 10:13 AM	#1000 (permalink)
dussandr Newbie Join Date: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 2 Reputation: 0 Rep Power: 0	Guy walks into a bar with a sandwich under his arm. He orders a drink for himself, and one for the sandwich. The bartender tells him, get this.... "mi nem szolgál étel itt" LOL