the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!! - Page 101

ESP · 11th Jun 2005, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dussandr

Guy walks into a bar with a sandwich under his arm. He orders a drink for himself, and one for the sandwich. The bartender tells him,

get this....

"mi nem szolgál étel itt"

LOL

Get this? Get what? I don't get this joke.

What is "mi nem szolgál étel itt"?

dussandr · 12th Jun 2005, 02:14 PM

"we don't serve food here"

Aion-X · 13th Jun 2005, 12:04 AM

Morphius : Take the green pill (with AMD logo) and I'll show you how to overclock.

aKho · 13th Jun 2005, 12:35 AM

Manties ... Panties made for men...

http://www.manties.net/

somehow after seeing that, my knees gets weak.
i feel violated.

siddiq · 13th Jun 2005, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aKho

Manties ... Panties made for men...

http://www.manties.net/

somehow after seeing that, my knees gets weak.
i feel violated.

ROFTLMAO! thats is so sick.

ESP · 13th Jun 2005, 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aKho

Manties ... Panties made for men...

http://www.manties.net/

somehow after seeing that, my knees gets weak.
i feel violated.

Oh, yuck.

ESP · 16th Jun 2005, 02:30 AM

TEACHER : Why are you late?
BALGOBIN : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
BALGOBIN : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER : Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN : You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER : Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER : Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Balgobin!

TEACHER : Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
BALGOBIN : M! e!

TEACHER : Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

BALGOBIN : Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN : Your name on this report card.

TEACHER : How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN : Don't bite any.

TEACHER : Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN : I is...
TEACHER : No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day,
same time."

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
BALGOBIN : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

BALGOBIN ! : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like
that at home.

TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN : Brotherly love?

TEACHER : Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
BALGOBIN : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER : Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
BALGOBIN : A teacher

ESP · 16th Jun 2005, 02:32 AM

Ms Woo: How many times do I need to tell you, DON'CH BE SO NOISY especially when the teacher's not in class?? Who was the one who make so much noise?! You better stand up before everyone gets it.

Felix: "Will the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up..." (Eminem)

Ms Woo: You again!! Can you DON'CH PRAY A FOOL??

Felix: "Can't believe I'm the Fool again~" (Westlife)

Ms Woo: Do you want me to beat you??

Class: "Hit me Baby One More Time!" (Britney)

Ms Woo: What did u say??

Eugene: "WHAT?!" (Stone Cold)

Ms Woo: Are you out of your head??

Kai Ying: "I just can't Get you Outta my Head~" (Kylie Minogue)

Ms Woo: Who do you think you are??

Eugene: "I'm a Genie in a Bottle~" (Christina Aguilera)

Ms Woo: DON'CH BE RUDE!! How many F9s do you all want??

Class: "1, 2, 345, Everybody in the House, so Come'on let 's Ride.." (Lou Bega)

Ms Woo: Do you all have to do this?? What else you all do?!

Class: "Sometimes I run, Sometimes I hide..." (Britney)

Ms Woo: Do you all think this is a party??

Class: "I'm Coming Up so you Better Get the Party Started!" (Pink)

Ms Woo: I want all of you to go for detention tomorrow morning!!

Class: "Every Morning they're a Hello..." (Sugar Ray)

Ms Woo: No!! I want everyone of you to go for detention EVERYDAY!!

Class: "Everyday I Love You~" (Boyzone)

Ms Woo: Felix, Eugene and Kai Ying!! You 3 come alone and see me after school!!

Eugene: "Show me the Meaning, of Being Lonely" (BSB)

Ms Woo: Okay Eugene!! Now only you have to come and see me personally!! Felix and Kai Ying need not!! It's gonna be only 2 of us!!

Eugene: "Just the Two of Us..." (Will Smith)

Ms Woo: Do you want to SHUTTUP before I bring you to Mr Fauzi??

Class: "You Say it Best, when you Say Nothing At All..." (Ronan Keating)

Ms Woo: I want all of you to promise not to give me anymore trouble!!

Class: "This I Promise You... Woo~ I Promise You..." (*NSYNC)

Ms Woo: Make sure you all DON'CH give me trouble again!!

Class: "Oops!! I Did it Again!!" (Britney)

Ms Woo: DON'CH BE RUDE AR!!

Kai Ying: "There she Goes... There she Goes Again~" (Sixpence None The Richer)

Ms Woo: I'm leaving now!!

Class: "BYE BYE BYE!!" (*NSYNC)

zachig · 16th Jun 2005, 02:40 AM

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

zachig · 16th Jun 2005, 02:43 AM

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

13th Jun 2005, 12:04 AM	#1003 (permalink)
Aion-X Getting there Join Date: 2 Jun 2005 Location: DOTA Battleground Posts: 182 Reputation: 41 Rep Power: 4	Morphius : Take the green pill (with AMD logo) and I'll show you how to overclock. __________________ AMD 64 Winchester 3000+ @2.34Ghz DFI LANPARTY NF4 Ultra-D BIOS 704 Gigabyte X300 @400:500 Kingston 512/400 x2 @260 9/10 (Value RAM LOL) Enermax 460W ----------------------------------------------- I see you are alone, but when you hear this you are not alone anymore.

16th Jun 2005, 02:30 AM	#1007 (permalink)
ESP Super Active Join Date: 8 Jan 2005 Posts: 2,121 Reputation: 715 Rep Power: 13	TEACHER : Why are you late? BALGOBIN : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? BALGOBIN : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." TEACHER : Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor? BALGOBIN : You told me to do it without using tables! TEACHER : Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"? BALGOBIN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong BALGOBIN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water? BALGOBIN : "HIJKLMNO! "!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? BALGOBIN : Yesterday you said it's H to O! TEACHER : Balgobin, go to the map and find North America. BALGOBIN : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS : Balgobin! TEACHER : Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. BALGOBIN : M! e! TEACHER : Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty? BALGOBIN : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. BALGOBIN : Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write? BALGOBIN : Your name on this report card. TEACHER : How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? BALGOBIN : Don't bite any. TEACHER : Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I". BALGOBIN : I is... TEACHER : No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am." BALGOBIN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?" BALGOBIN : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" BALGOBIN : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?" BALGOBIN ! : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? FATHER : No. Why do you ask that? BALGOBIN : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! BALGOBIN : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home. TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? BALGOBIN : Brotherly love? TEACHER : Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? BALGOBIN : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. TEACHER : Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? BALGOBIN : No, teacher, it's the same dog! TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? BALGOBIN : A teacher __________________ -eSp-

16th Jun 2005, 02:32 AM	#1008 (permalink)
ESP Super Active Join Date: 8 Jan 2005 Posts: 2,121 Reputation: 715 Rep Power: 13	Ms Woo: How many times do I need to tell you, DON'CH BE SO NOISY especially when the teacher's not in class?? Who was the one who make so much noise?! You better stand up before everyone gets it. Felix: "Will the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up..." (Eminem) Ms Woo: You again!! Can you DON'CH PRAY A FOOL?? Felix: "Can't believe I'm the Fool again~" (Westlife) Ms Woo: Do you want me to beat you?? Class: "Hit me Baby One More Time!" (Britney) Ms Woo: What did u say?? Eugene: "WHAT?!" (Stone Cold) Ms Woo: Are you out of your head?? Kai Ying: "I just can't Get you Outta my Head~" (Kylie Minogue) Ms Woo: Who do you think you are?? Eugene: "I'm a Genie in a Bottle~" (Christina Aguilera) Ms Woo: DON'CH BE RUDE!! How many F9s do you all want?? Class: "1, 2, 345, Everybody in the House, so Come'on let 's Ride.." (Lou Bega) Ms Woo: Do you all have to do this?? What else you all do?! Class: "Sometimes I run, Sometimes I hide..." (Britney) Ms Woo: Do you all think this is a party?? Class: "I'm Coming Up so you Better Get the Party Started!" (Pink) Ms Woo: I want all of you to go for detention tomorrow morning!! Class: "Every Morning they're a Hello..." (Sugar Ray) Ms Woo: No!! I want everyone of you to go for detention EVERYDAY!! Class: "Everyday I Love You~" (Boyzone) Ms Woo: Felix, Eugene and Kai Ying!! You 3 come alone and see me after school!! Eugene: "Show me the Meaning, of Being Lonely" (BSB) Ms Woo: Okay Eugene!! Now only you have to come and see me personally!! Felix and Kai Ying need not!! It's gonna be only 2 of us!! Eugene: "Just the Two of Us..." (Will Smith) Ms Woo: Do you want to SHUTTUP before I bring you to Mr Fauzi?? Class: "You Say it Best, when you Say Nothing At All..." (Ronan Keating) Ms Woo: I want all of you to promise not to give me anymore trouble!! Class: "This I Promise You... Woo~ I Promise You..." (NSYNC) Ms Woo: Make sure you all DON'CH give me trouble again!! Class: "Oops!! I Did it Again!!" (Britney) Ms Woo: DON'CH BE RUDE AR!! Kai Ying: "There she Goes... There she Goes Again~" (Sixpence None The Richer) Ms Woo: I'm leaving now!! Class: "BYE BYE BYE!!" (NSYNC) __________________ -eSp-

16th Jun 2005, 02:40 AM	#1009 (permalink)
zachig Active Join Date: 9 Feb 2005 Location: Somewhere Posts: 782 Reputation: 232 Rep Power: 6	Blonde Joke A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

16th Jun 2005, 02:43 AM	#1010 (permalink)
zachig Active Join Date: 9 Feb 2005 Location: Somewhere Posts: 782 Reputation: 232 Rep Power: 6	Another Blonde Joke A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

12th Jun 2005, 02:14 PM	#1002 (permalink)
dussandr Newbie Join Date: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 2 Reputation: 0 Rep Power: 0	"we don't serve food here"

13th Jun 2005, 12:35 AM	#1004 (permalink)
aKho beat around the bush Join Date: 3 Jun 2005 Location: Kuching, Sarawak Posts: 2,806 Reputation: 1169 Rep Power: 17	Manties ... Panties made for men... http://www.manties.net/ somehow after seeing that, my knees gets weak. i feel violated.