the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!! - Page 107

Papercut · 7th Jul 2005, 01:28 AM

Couple of funny pictures

Adrian Wong · 7th Jul 2005, 01:46 AM

ROTFL!! That couple is so cute!

digitalvoice · 7th Jul 2005, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adrian Wong

ROTFL!! That couple is so cute!

Yea, ...and the statements on the 2 placards, how honest!

Bestia(ry) · 7th Jul 2005, 01:37 PM

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders a meals and eats it. He then gets out a gun, shoots the waiter, and runs out of the shop. The owner runs out after him yelling, "Stop! You can't do that! You can't go around shooting people like that! That man is dead now." The panda stops and replies very calmly, "Yes I can. Just look up the definition of a panda in the encyclopedia." The owner looks confused so the panda quotes, "Panda - a black and white mammal which lives up trees, eats shoots and leaves."

PsYkHoTiK · 7th Jul 2005, 02:38 PM

ROTFL!

Good ones!

ToyotaFreak · 7th Jul 2005, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Donna rides the bus to work every day. Today
she's in some discomfort because she has a pain in
her lower abdomen. She finally realizes that its
just a tremendous build up of gas from something
she ate. The bus is quite crowded and she doesn't
know what to do. Then she remembers that pretty
soon the bus will run across some railroad tracts
and it will rattle and bang and make lots of
noise. She will be able to pass this gas and
nobody will know.

What she doesn't know is that the bus driver also
rides the bus everyday and has grown tired of all
the noise the bus makes when it rattles and bangs
across the railroad tracts. So last night he
stayed after work and had the maintenance crew
tighten up all the loose bolts and lubricate all
the moving parts to quiet down the old bus.

Well, here come the railroad tracts, Donna
raises up on one cheek and lets it rip. It was
one long, loud, juicy sounding fart. The bus
didn't rattle and bang like it usually did and now
you could hear a pin drop inside the bus as
everybody started looking around.

Donna thought that maybe no one knew who
did it and that she should just act natural. She
thought she should just start a conversation with
someone as if nothing had happened. She leaned
over to the man sitting across the aisle and
casually asked him, 'Do you have a transfer?'
He politely responded, 'No I don't, but the next
tree we pass I will try and grab you a handful of leaves....'

ToyotaFreak · 7th Jul 2005, 03:07 PM

Quote:

A mother has 3 girls,they all got married,but she wants to know how the sex is,so she says that after the night on the honeymoon,they write a postcard saying how it went.
The 1st girl write:m&m's
puzzled,the women buys a pack of m&m's and reads the slogan"it melts in your mouth,not in your hand."
The 2nd girl writes:Cambles soup.
again the mom buys some cambles soup and reads,"mmm..mmm...good."
3 weeks pass and the 3rd girl finally writes:Ford
the mom goes to her ford jeep and reads"the best never stop"

Leian · 7th Jul 2005, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bestia

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders a meals and eats it. He then gets out a gun, shoots the waiter, and runs out of the shop. The owner runs out after him yelling, "Stop! You can't do that! You can't go around shooting people like that! That man is dead now." The panda stops and replies very calmly, "Yes I can. Just look up the definition of a panda in the encyclopedia." The owner looks confused so the panda quotes, "Panda - a black and white mammal which lives up trees, eats shoots and leaves."

Bestia, that second joke is actually the introduction (I think...

) of the book Eats, Shoots and Leaves, by Lynn Truss. Good book!

Bestia(ry) · 7th Jul 2005, 03:44 PM

To be honest .. I dunno.

But maybe I'll look out for it, 'cause you said it's a good one. ^^

zachig · 7th Jul 2005, 04:04 PM

Funny pictures, Papercut.

7th Jul 2005, 01:46 AM	#1062 (permalink)
Adrian Wong Da Boss Join Date: 10 Oct 2002 Location: In front of my ASUS F8V notebook! Posts: 30,124 Reputation: 3081 Rep Power: 67	ROTFL!! That couple is so cute! __________________ Dr. Adrian Wong Tech ARP \| Blog @ Tech ARP \| The Free Trade Zone DYKT : The only offshore account I have is at the sand bank? Keep Tech ARP free! Visit our sponsors! We need PROGRAMMERS and TECHNICAL WRITERS! Contact us if you are a hot shot programmer or technical writer! My items for sale : 50x SD Card \| Memory Stick PRO \| Cyclone Energy Saver \| Seiko SS watch \| Tiger/Carlsberg beer jugs \| Travel Speakers \| Motorola V600 \| Nokia N90 SOLD! \| New Lowepro Mini Trekker AW Other items for sale @ the FTZ : Zalman CNPS9500 LED @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7700 Cu @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7000 Cu @ $20 \| Swarovski bracelet watches \| Dell 17" LCD \| Hi-Fi speakers \| English DIVX movies \| HP LaserJet toners! \| Office chairs

7th Jul 2005, 01:37 PM	#1064 (permalink)
Bestia(ry) Fenrisulfr Join Date: 11 Oct 2004 Location: Lyngvi Posts: 2,217 Reputation: 1510 Rep Power: 22	A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will." A panda walks into a restaurant, orders a meals and eats it. He then gets out a gun, shoots the waiter, and runs out of the shop. The owner runs out after him yelling, "Stop! You can't do that! You can't go around shooting people like that! That man is dead now." The panda stops and replies very calmly, "Yes I can. Just look up the definition of a panda in the encyclopedia." The owner looks confused so the panda quotes, "Panda - a black and white mammal which lives up trees, eats shoots and leaves." __________________ Gods. Men. Beast alike.

7th Jul 2005, 02:38 PM	#1065 (permalink)
PsYkHoTiK "Little" Devil Join Date: 8 Apr 2004 Location: On the "throne" Posts: 14,320 Reputation: 4003 Rep Power: 59	ROTFL! Good ones! __________________ Intel SLAPL 4.3GHz @ 1.35v : 2x2GB OCZ Platinum DDR2 1066 : Asus P5K Premium : WD Raptor X : G92 8800GTS 512mb 800MHz Core WIP : XFi Platinum : Silverstone OP650 : Silverstone TJ-07 : Vista Ultimate Edition : Dtek FuZion CPU : Swiftech MCW60 : MCP655 : Thermochill PA120.3 w Scythe Ultra Kaze : Tygon R3603 1/2" ID 3/4" OD CPU-Z: SLAPL : SLA9U : FX-55 : DDR 600 : VX www.techarp.com

7th Jul 2005, 03:44 PM	#1069 (permalink)
Bestia(ry) Fenrisulfr Join Date: 11 Oct 2004 Location: Lyngvi Posts: 2,217 Reputation: 1510 Rep Power: 22	To be honest .. I dunno. But maybe I'll look out for it, 'cause you said it's a good one. ^^ __________________ Gods. Men. Beast alike.

7th Jul 2005, 04:04 PM	#1070 (permalink)
zachig Active Join Date: 9 Feb 2005 Location: Somewhere Posts: 782 Reputation: 232 Rep Power: 6	Funny pictures, Papercut.