the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!!

[Bestia(ry)]

Ok ok ... he thought she's trying to guess his age by fondling around but she already knew 'cause he did tell her yesterday.
So, she just wanted to fondle ... got it? ^^

[ToyotaFreak]

Originally Posted by Bestia

Ok ok ... he thought she's trying to guess his age by fondling around but she already knew 'cause he did tell her yesterday.
So, she just wanted to fondle ... got it? ^^

Ah.. I've got it now........

Just some dirty old lady trying to be "nasty"......

[Bestia(ry)]

In about 60 years you would want such nasty old lady by your side for sure .. ^^

[digitalvoice]

Apartment rental

A man met a beautiful girl and she agreed to spend the night with him for $500.00. So they spent the night together. In the morning before he left, he told the girl that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment - "Rental for apartment."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he sent a check for $250.00 and enclosed a note:

"Dear Madam , Enclosed please find a cheque for $250.00 for the rental of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:

1.It had never been occupied
2.There was plenty of heat
3.It was small enough to make me cosy at home.

Last night however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large!!!"

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately sent back the following reply.....

"Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlord. I will expect full payment due immediately or I will be forced to hire someone to remove your furniture!"

[siddiq]

wahahha. wahahahaha

let me simplified:

furniture =
aparment =

[Adrian Wong]

ROTFL!!! Hilarious!!!

[Bestia(ry)]

Good one. ^^

[Bestia(ry)]

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"

The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone handwritten the word 'penis' in tiny small letters.

She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.

The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board.

Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words,

'The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!'

[PsYkHoTiK]

ROTFLMAO!!! The more you rub it! LMAO!!!!!!!!

[Zen]

got this in my mail today
office upgrade... enjoy