the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!!

[Adrian Wong]

ROTFL!!!! Good jokes, Jet!!!

[zachig]

Hillarious, JET I really liked the last one!!!

...let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done.

[Zen]

I will CREDIT you my love,
if you will DEBIT me your love.
I'll record our romance in a JOURNAL,
And POST it to the LEDGER of my heart.
I'll keep an ACCOUNT of our love,
Based on DOUBLE-ENTRY.
This way you'll know the BALANCE c/d,
And the AMOUNT of love I have for you.

Our courtship, is carried out on WORKSHEET.> ADJUSTING ENTRIES are necessary, To make our love steady.
TRIAL BALANCE shows, We are meant for each other, Because the TOTAL of
our love, Is one and the same.
CLOSING ENTRIES are made, When down the aisle we take.
PROFIT & LOSS statement, tells what has happened.
Let's see our BALANCE SHEET,
What are our ASSETS & LIABILITIES?
Oh, my goodness! It shows a dozen kids !!!!!!!!!!!

[zachig]

I bumped into this one. A nice way to delete a file from memory...

OK, DELETED, OFFENSIVE MATERIAL!!!

[Jet]

Originally Posted by zachig

I bumped into this one. A nice way to delete a file from memory...

That pic is not allowed..

[zy]

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: ''This bull mated 50 times last year.'' The wife turns to her husband and says, ''He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.'' They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: ''This bull mated 65 times last year.'' The wife turns to her husband and says, ''This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.'' They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: ''This bull mated 365 times last year.'' The wife's mouth drops open and says, ''WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one.'' The man turns to his wife and says, ''Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow.''

[zy]

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, ''I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. '' Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, ''Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.'' This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. ''What's the distance from the earth to the moon?'' The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. ''Okay'' says the lawyer, ''your turn.'' She asks the lawyer, ''What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?'' The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, ''Thank you,'' and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, ''Well, what's the answer?'' Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.

[Jet]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

[zachig]

Those are good ones, zy!!! ROTFL!!!

[PsYkHoTiK]

LMAO!!!!!