the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!!

[ChampionLLY]

watched the 20+years old eddie murphy show:

a bear n a rabbit is taking a sh!t in the woods. the bear turns to the rabbit & said "excuse me, do u haf problem wif sh!t sticking to ur fur?" the rabbit says "no", so the bear wipe is a$$ on the rabbit.

[Adrian Wong]

Originally Posted by ChampionLLY

watched the 20+years old eddie murphy show:

a bear n a rabbit is taking a sh!t in the woods. the bear turns to the rabbit & said "excuse me, do u haf problem wif sh!t sticking to ur fur?" the rabbit says "no", so the bear wipe is a$$ on the rabbit.

ROTFL!! That's a good one!

[The_YongGrand]

Once upon a time there's a small man walking in the woods. Out of the blue he slipped on a piece of sh!te. He recovered and stood up and continued walking.

After a short while a big man also happened to slip on the same piece of sh!te. A few metres away from the big man, the little man shouted: "I just did that!!"

And then the big man kills the small man upon hearing that.

[Adrian Wong]

Originally Posted by The_YongGrand

Once upon a time there's a small man walking in the woods. Out of the blue he slipped on a piece of sh!te. He recovered and stood up and continued walking.

After a short while a big man also happened to slip on the same piece of sh!te. A few metres away from the big man, the little man shouted: "I just did that!!"

And then the big man kills the small man upon hearing that.

LOL!!!

But seriously, no need to kill him for that la..

[Jeremy]

Dashky: Click Here Please... -> Ceiling Cat

She's been reporting back to me you do it very often.

[ToyotaFreak]

Originally Posted by Adrian Wong

RESEARCH FINDING

Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch

ROTFL! That one's hillarious!

[Adrian Wong]

Originally Posted by Jeremy

Dashky: Click Here Please... -> Ceiling Cat

She's been reporting back to me you do it very often.

ROTFL!!!!

[Adrian Wong]

Mr. John got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite.

One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, "Mr.John, your barracks door is open."

He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary.

Calling her in, he asked, "By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?"

The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

[Adrian Wong]

During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class:

"Why is that during childhood, gals tend to grow taller than guys?"

A student replied: "That's because guys have balls and that weighs them down."

Teacher: "Then why is that at maturity, guys tend to grow taller than gals?"

Student: "That's because gals have breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls"

[Adrian Wong]

An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bot tle. It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie. BUT this was no ordinary genie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzis.

"Vell kid," said the genie, "you know how it voiks. You got three
vishes."

"I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!"

"Vott'ya you got to lose? Looks ta me - you're a gonner anyvay!"

The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie
was right. "Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink."

* * * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?"

"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

"Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Better you should make it a good vone!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!"

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * *

He was turned into a tampon.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached.