the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!!

[Yukirin]

Sneaky guy

[generalRage1982hrv]

Originally Posted by Adrian Wong

Here's an excellent example of Chinglish...

I really wouldn't know how to order in this restaurant!

hahahahhahaahhahaha
black mushrooms rape

[Chai]

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

[Chai]

1. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

2. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! 'YES'.. OK, BYE'.
She turns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

3. Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

[Chai]

4. Three Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a SAINT. I'm Paul not a POPE. I'm John not a BAPTIST...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.



5. Girlfriends are appetizers. Taste good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams. Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!


6. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

[Adrian Wong]

LOL!! OMG, it's damn good to visit this thread whenever I'm stressed! Great new jokes, Chai!!

[Falcone]

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only RM1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: 'RM390,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking RM2,950,000' for it.

MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of RM2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra R150,000 if it's really a pretty good price.'

WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'


The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

[Mac Daddy]

Hee hee some dudes got a surprise coming when he gets home ... good one Falcone

[lee_what2004]

ah, good husband indeed

[Adrian Wong]

ROTFL!!! OMG... I would hate to be THAT husband.