the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!! - Page 263

Chai · 17th Sep 2009, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adrian Wong

Hahaha....good joke.

Falcone · 21st Sep 2009, 03:39 PM

Emoticons ^_^

Assicons...

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) an ass hole

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

Adrian Wong · 22nd Sep 2009, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falcone

Emoticons ^_^

Assicons...

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) an ass hole

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

LOL!! That should be in its own thread - a guide on emoticons!

Adrian Wong · 22nd Sep 2009, 12:31 AM

This is funny!

Quote:

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles perhour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks cross at her and speaks in a clear voice.

'Darling,' he says. 'I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.' The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph..

The husband speaks again. 'I don't want you to try and talk me out of it', he says, 'because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are.' Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.

He pushes his luck. 'I want the house,' he says insistently. Up to 60 mph.'I want the car, too,' he continues. 65 mph. 'And,' he says, 'I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat...'

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.

This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: 'Isn't there
anything you want?'. The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. 'No,I've got everything I need..' she says.
Oh, really?' he inquires, 'So what have you got?'

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. .....'The airbag.'....

so never under estimate how a woman thinks. Moral of the story: Buy Toyota VIOS as it has only one airbag (for driver only). The husband sure dies and wife gets everything!

zy · 22nd Sep 2009, 01:18 AM

75mph.. airbag also kenot save... lol

lee_what2004 · 22nd Sep 2009, 01:26 AM

that's only apply to wife who is driving

Chai · 22nd Sep 2009, 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lee_what2004

that's only apply to wife who is driving

Yeah, how often wife drives?

Adrian Wong · 24th Sep 2009, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lee_what2004

that's only apply to wife who is driving

The REAL moral of the story - never let your wife drive!!

Adrian Wong · 26th Sep 2009, 02:16 AM

Strange the Lawyer

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However, he suggested an alternative.

He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark "That's Strange!"

Adrian Wong · 26th Sep 2009, 02:18 AM

The three Dolls in a man's life are...

1. His Daughter -> Baby Doll

2. His Girlfriend -> Barbie Doll

3. His Wife -> Panadol!!!!

21st Sep 2009, 03:39 PM	#2622 (permalink)
Falcone Official Mascot Creator Join Date: 18 Dec 2002 Location: Shanghai, See En Posts: 3,372 Reputation: 1878 Rep Power: 29	Emoticons ^_^ Assicons... (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (__) an ass hole {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that's been around (_x_) kiss my ass (_X_) leave my ass alone (_zzz_) a tired ass (_E=mc2_) a smart ass (_$_) Money coming out of his ass (_?_) Dumb Ass __________________ I'm a noob, my photos sucks, but if you can live with that... http://www.pumpkinproject.com/ Flickr*

22nd Sep 2009, 01:18 AM	#2625 (permalink)
zy zynine.com Join Date: 16 Dec 2002 Location: Buffalo NY Posts: 13,495 Reputation: 2276 Rep Power: 43	75mph.. airbag also kenot save... lol __________________

22nd Sep 2009, 01:26 AM	#2626 (permalink)
lee_what2004 Super Active Join Date: 28 Dec 2007 Location: Melaka Posts: 1,352 Reputation: 1149 Rep Power: 15	that's only apply to wife who is driving __________________ Once a wise-man said : Chapter 1: Don't ever compare if you want to stay constant..... Chapter 2: Whatever you have done in the internet, you will never get away from it... Chapter 3:To be continued after I thought another one

26th Sep 2009, 02:16 AM	#2629 (permalink)
Adrian Wong Da Boss Join Date: 10 Oct 2002 Location: In front of my ASUS F8V notebook! Posts: 33,143 Reputation: 3730 Rep Power: 78	Strange the Lawyer A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However, he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark "That's Strange!" __________________ Dr. Adrian Wong Tech ARP \| Blog @ Tech ARP \| The Free Trade Zone DYKT : The only offshore account I have is at the sand bank? We need PROGRAMMERS and TECHNICAL WRITERS! Contact us if you are a hot shot programmer or technical writer! My items for sale : 50x SD Card \| Memory Stick PRO \| Cyclone Energy Saver \| Seiko SS watch \| Tiger/Carlsberg beer jugs \| Travel Speakers \| Motorola V600 \| Nokia N90 SOLD! \| New Lowepro Mini Trekker AW Other items for sale @ the FTZ : Zalman CNPS9500 LED @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7700 Cu @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7000 Cu @ $20 \| Swarovski bracelet watches \| Dell 17" LCD \| Hi-Fi speakers \| English DIVX movies \| HP LaserJet toners! \| Office chairs

26th Sep 2009, 02:18 AM	#2630 (permalink)
Adrian Wong Da Boss Join Date: 10 Oct 2002 Location: In front of my ASUS F8V notebook! Posts: 33,143 Reputation: 3730 Rep Power: 78	The three Dolls in a man's life are... 1. His Daughter -> Baby Doll 2. His Girlfriend -> Barbie Doll 3. His Wife -> Panadol!!!! __________________ Dr. Adrian Wong Tech ARP \| Blog @ Tech ARP \| The Free Trade Zone DYKT : The only offshore account I have is at the sand bank? We need PROGRAMMERS and TECHNICAL WRITERS! Contact us if you are a hot shot programmer or technical writer! My items for sale : 50x SD Card \| Memory Stick PRO \| Cyclone Energy Saver \| Seiko SS watch \| Tiger/Carlsberg beer jugs \| Travel Speakers \| Motorola V600 \| Nokia N90 SOLD! \| New Lowepro Mini Trekker AW Other items for sale @ the FTZ : Zalman CNPS9500 LED @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7700 Cu @ $20 \| Zalman CNPS7000 Cu @ $20 \| Swarovski bracelet watches \| Dell 17" LCD \| Hi-Fi speakers \| English DIVX movies \| HP LaserJet toners! \| Office chairs