the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!!

[jinongman]

errr....
joke ?

[jinongman]

ermm.. jokes ??
i think my face is a joke..

[Jet]

Originally Posted by jinongman

ermm.. jokes ??
i think my face is a joke..

LOL... your face isn't a joke la..
but the one you post does look funny..
Sorry if i hurt your feeling..


I still have a lot of animal pictures.. But some of them cannot be posted.. I'll ask Max about that...

[Adrian Wong]

LOL! Did you draw those pics?

Nah, you have a cute face.

[jinongman]

yeah.. i did draw them.. hahaha
was too bored

[Maximus_Detritus]

Cute Mary:

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and
jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty !" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!

[Maximus_Detritus]

t's dark in here issit? :

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.

One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.

Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes it is," the man replies.

"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks. "No thanks," the man replies.

"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues. "OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he was in.

"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in agreed to the price.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway
and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off. "Yes it is," replies the man.

"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks. "OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his dis-advantage.

"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.

The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."

"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy. "How much did you get for them?" asks the father,
expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candies.

"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery!

I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.

At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and
says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

"Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.

[Maximus_Detritus]

Pervert Old Lady:

On a man's 33rd birthday he gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it.

At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today."

"Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?", asks the Post Office worker.

"33.", says the man. "Well, have a good day.", says the worker. "Thank you.", replied the man.

To get home, the man has to take the bus. At the bus stop an old lady walks up and waits soon
after he arrives.

The man says to the old lady, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday.", says the old lady.

"I'm..." "No don't tell me.", interjects the old lady, "I know a unique way of telling how old somebody is."

"Oh yeah? What's that then?", asks the man. "If I can feel your balls for about 5 minutes, I can tell
exactly how many years old you are.", says the old lady.

"I don't believe it.", says the man. "Well let me prove it!", the old lady replies.

"I'm not going to let you feel my balls!", says the man.

"Oh well, I guess you'll never know then.", replies the lady.

After a couple of minutes curiosity gets the better of the man and he says, "Oh, okay then, you
can do it."

After a good feel of the man's balls the woman finally takes her hands out of his pants. "You
are 33 years old exactly.", she exclaims!

"How in the world did you know that?!", exclaims the man, impressed.

"I was behind you in the line at the Post Office.", said the lady.

[zy]

hahahah .. good one

[PsYkHoTiK]

LMAO!