Sexual Frequency A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each person to smile.?Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately. Until he comes to the last man in line, that is,?This guy was grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but is surprised when the man said no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer was no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" ' "No.?'-' The man finally said yes when the doctor got to "once a year". The therapist was angry that his theory wasn't working, and asked the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?" The man answered, "Tonight's the night!"
To make a woman happy..... a man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 44. give her compliments regularly 45. love shopping 46. be honest 47. be very rich 48. not stress her out 49. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 53. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY: Leave him alone
This just-married Chinese coupled decide to make love on their wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condom from the shop nearby. When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off... While the husband was out, an Indian thief came into the room. The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the Indian and happily screwed away.The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. In the mean time, the husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20-sen coin. He asked the shop owner to sell him one piece of condom and the shop owner asked him which quality that he wanted. "The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 sen each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 sen each. And purple condom, the highest quality, is 25 sen each". So, the husband chose the black condom as he had only 20 sen with him. When he reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping. Without a warning, he jumped onto his wife and started making love. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic after the "first" session. A year later, the wife gave birth to a "black" baby boy. When the baby grows up, he asks the father, "Pa, why am I black and you are white?" The father replied, "You are damn lucky already boy......5 sen more and you would be PURPLE now!!!!!!"