the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by TungstenBoy, Dec 30, 2003.

  1. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    ROTFL!!! :haha: :haha:

    7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP :haha: :haha:
     
  2. zachig

    zachig Newbie

    Hehehe :haha: Absolutely hillarious!!! :haha:
     
  3. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    Sexual Frequency

    A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has sex.

    To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each person to smile.?Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately.
    Until he comes to the last man in line, that is,?This guy was grinning from ear to ear.

    "Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but is surprised when the man said no.

    "Once a day, then?"

    Again the answer was no.

    "Twice a week?"

    "No."

    "Twice a month?"
    '
    "No.?'-'

    The man finally said yes when the doctor got to "once a year".

    The therapist was angry that his theory wasn't working, and asked the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?"

    The man answered, "Tonight's the night!"

    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  4. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    To make a woman happy..... a man only needs to be:

    1. a friend
    2. a companion
    3. a lover
    4. a brother
    5. a father
    6. a master
    7. a chef
    8. an electrician
    9. a carpenter
    10. a plumber
    11. a mechanic
    12. a decorator
    13. a stylist
    14. a sexologist
    15. a gynecologist
    16. a psychologist
    17. a pest exterminator
    18. a psychiatrist
    19. a healer
    20. a good listener
    21. an organizer
    22. a good father
    23. very clean
    24. sympathetic
    25. athletic
    26. warm
    27. attentive
    28. gallant
    29. intelligent
    30. funny
    31. creative
    32. tender
    33. strong
    34. understanding
    35. tolerant
    36. prudent
    37. ambitious
    38. capable
    39. courageous
    40. determined
    41. true
    42. dependable
    43. passionate

    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

    44. give her compliments regularly
    45. love shopping
    46. be honest
    47. be very rich
    48. not stress her out
    49. not look at other girls


    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

    50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

    IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
    53. Never to forget:
    * birthdays
    * anniversaries
    * arrangements she makes

    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

    Leave him alone
     
  5. PsYkHoTiK

    PsYkHoTiK Admin nerd

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

    How true... :p
     
  6. Zenphic

    Zenphic Newbie

    LOL pwnage :haha: :haha:
    Indeed, too true, us guys are like slaves to girls! :doh:
     
  7. Zen

    Zen Das lässige Schwein

    This just-married Chinese coupled decide to make love on their wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condom from the shop
    nearby.

    When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off... While the husband was out, an Indian thief came into the room.

    The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the Indian and happily screwed away.The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately.

    In the mean time, the husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20-sen coin.

    He asked the shop owner to sell him one piece of condom and the shop owner asked him which quality that he wanted.

    "The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 sen each.

    The black condom, average quality, is 20 sen each.

    And purple condom, the highest quality, is 25 sen each".

    So, the husband chose the black condom as he had only 20 sen with him.

    When he reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping. Without a warning, he jumped onto his wife and started making love. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic after the "first" session.

    A year later, the wife gave birth to a "black" baby boy.

    When the baby grows up, he asks the father, "Pa, why am I black and you are white?"

    The father replied, "You are damn lucky already boy......5 sen more and you would be PURPLE now!!!!!!"
     
  8. GarPhreak

    GarPhreak Newbie

    "Tonight's the night!" ROTLMAO!! :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  9. ZuePhok

    ZuePhok Just Started

    yeah..LOL

    but he forgot this emo :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:
     
  10. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  11. Chai

    Chai Administrator Staff Member

    Hahahaha...
     
  12. angel1011

    angel1011 Baby-DeeNoo

    Living in 2006
     
  13. Chai

    Chai Administrator Staff Member

    Hehehe...not bad... :haha:
     
  14. angel1011

    angel1011 Baby-DeeNoo

    Diary of a young wife:
    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  15. Chai

    Chai Administrator Staff Member

    Blonde wife? :shifty:
     
  16. PsYkHoTiK

    PsYkHoTiK Admin nerd

    Wow, that guy didn't implement any form of QC in the selection process.... :p
     
  17. PlaySafe

    PlaySafe Guest

  18. angel1011

    angel1011 Baby-DeeNoo

    Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what...
    :faint: :faint: :faint:
     
    1 person likes this.
  19. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    :thumb: This doctor is a pro I tell you. :faint:
     
  20. PsYkHoTiK

    PsYkHoTiK Admin nerd

    Magic Sandals

    LOL! :haha:

    Keep dashken away from these! :haha:
     

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