the ARP jokes thread!!!!!....come post ur jokes here!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by TungstenBoy, Dec 30, 2003.

  1. Chai

    Chai Administrator Staff Member

    6. is really funny! :haha:
     
  2. peaz

    peaz ARP Webmaster Staff Member

    LOL missing stamps
     
  3. Chai

    Chai Administrator Staff Member

     
  4. zachig

    zachig Newbie

    Hehehe...ROTFL!!! Hillarious!!! :haha: :clap:

    That was a very good one, Chai! :mrgreen:

    Thanks for a good laugh! ;)
     
  5. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    ROTFL!! That is a very good joke! :thumb:
     
  6. Mac Daddy

    Mac Daddy Pickin' Da Gitfiddle

    That is pretty good :D

    A Mormon

    A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

    The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

    The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

    He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

    The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
     
  7. Mac Daddy

    Mac Daddy Pickin' Da Gitfiddle

    Why Microsoft shouldn't make cars

    At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
    in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy
    more seats.

    6. Macintosh would make a car that's powered by the sun, more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

    7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.

    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

    9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.

    10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine
     
  8. pyroboy1911

    pyroboy1911 Newbie

    I like no 9! :haha: :haha:
     
  9. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    ROTFL!!! Great classics! :thumb: :thumb:
     
  10. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    May be posted before but still fun... :mrgreen:
     
  11. Mac Daddy

    Mac Daddy Pickin' Da Gitfiddle

    ROFL good one Dashken :thumb:
     
  12. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    Hehe.. Always good to revisit that joke! :haha: :thumb:
     
  13. strawroot

    strawroot I Lurrrve Panda Biscuit!

    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

    so funny!
     
  14. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    For those who're fed-up with shopping... :thumb:
     

    Attached Files:

  15. Mac Daddy

    Mac Daddy Pickin' Da Gitfiddle

    Now thats funny :haha: :haha:
     
  16. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    ROTFL!! Is that for real??? :haha: :haha:
     
  17. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    No idea where to post these... :mrgreen:
     
  18. pyroboy1911

    pyroboy1911 Newbie

    Haha, nice one!

    But i dun think can apply in malaysia. Once you answer like that, the interviewee will say "tunjuk pandai kah??!!"

    then u wont get the job for being a smartass...:mrgreen:
     
  19. Chai

    Chai Administrator Staff Member

    MNC does. :mrgreen:
     
  20. strawroot

    strawroot I Lurrrve Panda Biscuit!

    i think the interviewer will say: mau lucu kah??!!
     

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