Discussion in 'Lounge' started by TungstenBoy, Dec 30, 2003.
Here's a new one... :mrgreen :
What's the real punishment for bigamy?
More than one mother-in-law!
Here's a blonde joke...
Okay, here's a really good one!
hi every one!
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days
"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"
She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
This is old but still funny!
ROTFL!!! That's a good one!!!
Here's another funny one...
> - Do you speak English?
> - Yes!
> - Name?
> - Abdul al-Rhazib.
> - Sex?
> - Three to five times a week.
> - No, no...I mean male or female?
> - Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
> - Holy cow!
> - Yes, cow, sheep, other animals in general.
> - But isn't that hostile?
> - Horse style, doggy style, any style!
> - Oh dear!
> - No, no! Deer runs too fast...
Seen that one before. But still funny!
Those who like meat will enjoy this one...
For those who are contemplating getting married...
Here's one from the Confuse-cius!
You guys know about Amazon's future drone delivery service? Well, lots of people are joking about it on Twitter.
1. Statistics: 70% of Romanians live in stress. The other 30% live in Germany, France, Italy, Spain...
2. A guy enters in a bookshop and asks for a book about suffocation. The shop assistant: "Would you like a bag?"
3. Mother in law:- If you hate me that much why do you keep a picture of me above the fireplace?
Son in law: - To keep the children away from fire.
4. Marriage was the first form of leasing: you take something you enjoy and pay the whole life...rarely finding someone taking over the leasing.
5. A guy comes to the fortune teller. The fortune teller looks in guys palm:
- Terrible. Your mother in law will die in two days!
- I know that without you telling me. I'm only interested if I'm gonna get caught or not.
Here are some funnies from Jerry Seinfeld :mrgreen :
- Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
- Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
- There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”
Funny essay written in Malaysian language:
Separate names with a comma.