Murder From The Grave

Discussion in 'Adrian Wong' started by Adrian Wong, Apr 24, 2007.

  1. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    You may think it's impossible to kill someone when you are dead and lying in the grave, but it's possible. My aunt's parents did just that. Not directly of course, but it was just as if they put the knife to her heart.

    My aunt is a lady in her early 50s, leading a simple life with her kids. Retired a few years ago, she now enjoys travelling, baking and cooking. Man, are her cookies fantastic! :beer:

    She sure had much to live for. Many more years with her husband and kids, travelling all over world. It was time for her to enjoy life, after working hard for so many years. Unfortunately, that has all come to a sudden and unexpected stop when she was recently diagnosed with lung cancer.

    It started with a dry cought that lasted 6 months. She thought it was an ordinary cough, albeit a persistent one. Needless to say, a dry cough lasting 6 months is really alarming. Finally, she went to see a doctor when she couldn't take it anymore. The results were not promising, to say the least.

    After several urgent investigations, it was determined that she had lung cancer, most likely of the small cell variety. This kind of lung cancer is very aggressive because of its small size. It spreads extremely rapidly. In fact, in her case, it had already spread beyond the lungs, as is seen with most small cell carcinoma cases.

    Needless to say, prognosis is not good at all. I wouldn't further delve into it because this is not really the point of this post. As you can imagine, her life as she knew it was over. It was the beginning of an arduous series of chemotherapy which is merely palliative, not curative.

    My heart breaks whenever I think of her. It's not so much that cancer kills, especially lung cancer which is generally uncurable by the time it's detected. It's that her lung cancer was totally AVOIDABLE.

    Her type of lung cancer is strongly associated with tobacco smoking. Before the "invention" of cigarettes and other tobacco smoking products, lung cancer was a rarity. Now, it's the second cause of deaths in women in the US. Research has shown that smoking accounts for almost 90% of lung cancer cases.

    TBH, when you see cases of recalcitrant smokers coming in to the hospital with lung cancer, I actually think, "Man, you totally deserved that!". I do feel a little guilty (just a little!) for being so cruel, but that is exactly what it is. Smokers get lung cancer, not because it's their luck or God was unfair. They get it because they smoked their way to it.

    Even when they are diagnosed with lung cancer, some continue to smoke. But once, I saw an old man quit smoking ON THE SPOT after receiving the diagnosis. I thought that was pretty amazing since many smokers failed to kick the habit even after numerous tries. When I asked him about it, he said, "If you really want to quit, you can quit anytime."

    However, my aunt does not smoke. So, how did she get lung cancer??? :confused:

    Bad luck could be it. One may not smoke but one can still get lung cancer. It could have been asbestos or radon gas too. But asbestos has been banned ages ago, and the house she lived in for the last 20 years or so is asbestos-free. I don't believe Malaysia has a radon gas emission problem. So, was she just plain unlucky?

    When we dug deeper, we discovered that her PARENTS were chronic, heavy smokers. Since she was born until she left home, she was a chronic passive smoker. Even when she got married and lived in another home, she still went back home for "regular" doses of secondary smoke.

    With the strong correlation between small cell carcinoma and tobacco smoking, it looks like she was "killed" by her parents' smoking. They may have died several years ago, but the carcinogens in THEIR cigarette smoke signed my aunt's death warrant even after they were laid to rest.

    The moral of the story is this. I do not begrudge any smoker's right to smoke. But have a thought for others. Even if you do not care about strangers, think about your friends and family.

    If you want to smoke, make sure you stand a good distance away, and blow AWAY from people. At home, make ONE room the smoking room and only smoke there. Carcinogens in cigarette smoke can persist in a room for decades.

    If you have children, oh, for God's sake, give up smoking or go live in another house or something. Secondary smoke reduces their IQ and virility. No use sending them to expensive tuition and colleges while you smoke away their brain cells. And do have the courage to lay a little blame on yourself if they turn up sterile.

    Finally, if you turn up at the pearly gates and are not admitted because St. Nicholas (or the gatekeeper of heaven in your religion) says you murdered a few people, now you know how you did THAT.
  2. strawroot

    strawroot I Lurrrve Panda Biscuit!

    Sorry for your aunt :cry:
    Smokers always find reasons to smoke, stress..habitual, addictive, watever. They still smoke.
  3. ZuePhok

    ZuePhok Just Started

    cancer sucks
  4. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

  5. marc

    marc Team Tech ARP

    Argh. Sorry to hear that. :(

    To all guys, smoking reduces erection by about 1 cm! And that is if you don't have ED to begin with! So do not smoke!
  6. The_YongGrand

    The_YongGrand Just Started

    Sorry to hear about that. Cancer really sucks hard, and it sucks away someone's else life too. Eventhough removal is possible, there's a chance of regrowth. :(

    I never liked and never ever tried smoking. It is because I GOT TIRED of those guys smoking in my school toilet back in my secondary school days (and the cigarette smoke stinks always - like a feel of choking). Every recess time these inconsiderate fools will stand inside the already stinky toilet, and puffing away cocktails of death.

    And worse, after a toilet trip, some of my teachers suspected I was smoking because my T-shirt uniform got all the smell. I told them, it is a false alarm, go and catch those guys who are smoking in the toilet instead before they 'kill' other students. :wall:

    And one pack of cigarette is so expensive, but some of 'em still refuse to kick the habit. :wall:
  7. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    I had an aunty once who went through something like that, minus the suffering though. Her son already established himself, married, etc. and is earning probably more than 15k per month. She had nothing to worry about already. She retired and was going to travel around the world with her EPF. But unfortunately, she passed away in her sleep suddenly. She was having dry cough for a month or so. That was 4 years ago. No autopsy was done since there's really no point to it. She didn't get to see her granddaughter which was born 2-3 years later. Unfortunate, really. :faint:

    I sometimes do miss her... Sigh... :|
  8. PsYkHoTiK

    PsYkHoTiK Admin nerd

    At least my dad is very thoughtful. He smoks out of the house, never indoors or in cars. He will always sit at the edge of the table down wind so that the smoke flies to other people's tables... LOL! :lol:
  9. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    Yeah, there are considerate smokers. I do know a few. They are always keeping their ciggies under their seats and always puff away. Heck, some even smoke far away from the party and only come back when they are done.

    The thing is.. I'm not against anyone's personal choice to smoke. But it really irritates me when I see a grandfather bring his grandson out for dim sum... and blows smoke in his face. It's kinda ironic, isn't it? Evidently, he dotes on his grandson, but he doesn't know that he's actually killing him.

    Worse of all, research has shown that primary smoke is actually safer than secondary smoke. Many cigarettes have filters that do actually reduce the amount of carcinogens inhaled. Not all, but some. However, secondary smokers get the full load. So, I'm not surprised that my aunt very likely got her lung cancer from breathing in secondary smoke.

    Incidentally, our susceptibility also depends on our genes. Some folks can smoke 4-5 packs everyday and die of heart failure at 98 with not a sign of lung cancer. Many smokers love to quote these cases as signs that smoking does not cause cancer. But that's because they have good genes. YOU may not be so lucky. In fact, you may have the cancer oncogenes, making you particularly susceptible.

    Anyway, I'm just hoping that someone somewhere can learn a little lesson from my aunt's experience. It's not only that her health is not deteriorating as she undergoes chemo, her entire family is affected too. Their family savings went into all those scans and 6 cycles of chemotherapy. Her hopes to go to Egypt are more or less dashed... although we hope she can still make it there.

    Oh well, it's still not too late for the rest of us. Let her experience be a lesson for all of us. Otherwise, it would be in vain....
  10. ToyotaFreak

    ToyotaFreak Just Started

    I'm sorry if this is out of the topic, but there's this guy who smoked right in my face while I was eating, I wonder if my food got some of those stuff. To make things worse, they're 17 year olds & are very inconsiderate (When they stop smoking and go back to class, their body odor really irritate me.).

    My grandma (Mum's side.) also died from lung cancer, happened the same way as Adrian's story. My grand pa was a very heavy smoker, but stopped puffing when he learned it the hard way.
  11. ZuePhok

    ZuePhok Just Started

    life is unfair. you can't complain.
    my grandma's bro has been smoking for 60 years (since he was 17). he is still alive and kicking. but my grandma is long gone, so is my aunt (who was a generation younger!). My aunt really took care of her health. but still, when your time is up, your time is up.

    god bless everyone in this forum!
  12. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    I agree. When it's our time, it's our time. :pray:

    But I have to be honest, this is not one of the better ways to go. It's always a painful and demeaning affair, for both patient and family members.

    Looking at the bright side of things, she's lucky in that she still has time to settle her affairs. :(
  13. cypris

    cypris Newbie

    The corridoor in front of my college is ALWAYS full of smokers. I always have to play dodge-and-shoot-the-dirty-look-while-saying-out-loud-how-inconsiderate-and idiotic-these-people-are-to-smoke-here to these bastards who smoke in an area meant for education.

    One thing i noticed, those who smoke are usually the ones who are failures from previous terms or are lagging behind in class. In other words SMOKERS ARE STUPID,STUPID PEOPLE!!! (actually come to think of it, the moment they pick up the cancer stick, they're already stupid)

    I really can't stand it when they smoke and come into the air-conditioned classrooms and computer labs and the whole room just stink of their ciggie smoke. like YongGrand has mentioned, the stenge chokes.

    Why people pick up smoking is beyond me. I don't care wether some are considerate or not, when they smoke, they come back stinking , and I still REALLY dislike that.

    Bottom line, I just HATE people who smoke and that includes my uncle who even though took the initiaive to stop smoking when his two sons were born, picked up smoking again now that they are a little older (but are still schooling, mind you) It's so despicable to smoke. I don't care what their excuse may be but as i've just mentioned, it's an excuse. There is no reason, let alone good reason to start smoking or even to try smoking.

    I've told the management of my college to put up signs and stop people from smoking in and around campus. Not only does it tarnish the name of the college but also the students. The public who sees those people loitering around outside smoking will definitely think that the rest of us who studies there are all lazy bums who do nothing but smoke and get stupid.
  14. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    Wahhh... Smokers are not SO bad la... :haha: :haha:

    I mean, yeah, it's bad to smoke. Kinda like paying for your own suicide pills, but it's a personal decision for everyone to make... We may not like it, but it's their right.

    All I think that smokers should do is be considerate. Smoke in private. You may want to smoke, but others may not want to.

    I understand how you feel though, cypris. :haha:
  15. The_YongGrand

    The_YongGrand Just Started

    I once met a few guys who are in my classroom, three of 'em talkin' away when there's the short break.

    The another one silently sneaked his cigarette pack, into his pocket and inspected it discreetly. Unfortunately I could see (not stare lah!) what the heck he was doing, and he suddenly stared at me, muttering.

    Then when I turned forward to something else (I have tons of homework back in my SPM days) I could hear him complaining, "Oh man, what the heck is this guy doing? Looking at me, like he never seen a pack before!"

    Wasn't he supposed to know that he's NOT allowed to smoke in the school? He should be conscious of his guilt, instead of complaining. People might give a very wrong impression towards students who are smoking, y'see?

    And another one: Car.

    i never enjoyed people smoking in the car. The smell of the ciggies will just stick onto the cushions, and more cushions. And it contaminates the air-cond.

    And I never like to purchase smokers' handphones - their buttons (I got another old Nokia 2100 keypad from the handphone shop) and my oldie handphone all smelled weird. And the keys are in dirty yellow. eek. :shock:
  16. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    LOL! Well, it's true. Cigarette smoke lingers long after the smoker is gone. Could account for the increased risk in the general population, even for those who never smoked a stick in their lives. :think:
  17. Chai

    Chai Administrator Staff Member

    I won't be surprised if I will die of lung cancer, with the surrounding smokers.
  18. Leian

    Leian "Dai Sou"

    Firstly, sorry to hear about your aunt. Like Phok and a few others here, I have a similar experience - my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer about two years ago. Again, it was not because she smoked but because her father (my great grandfather) and her two brothers (still alive and kicking.. and smoking) did.

    See why I cannot understand what people are thinking when they go into IKEA's smoking room in the cafe -- and bring their young children in there with them?

    I have been averse to smoking for a very very long time. My nose is quite sensitive (it begins to burn within minutes when anywhere near a lit cigarette) -- and when I think about what the smoke is doing to my health, it makes me very mad and terribly 'intolerant'. :wall:

    As for people whose friends 'courteously' blow away from you when they smoke -- remember that they are blowing it at someone else -- some other non-smoker -- who may want even less to inhale their 'courteous' secondary smoke. :wall:

    Adrian, my thoughts and hopes go out to you and your family.
  19. Adrian Wong

    Adrian Wong Da Boss Staff Member

    Well, like it or not, it's a personal choice. TBH, I've been a little tempted to experiment before.. in the past. I can attest that the temptation can be very strong, even for one who was brought up to hate smoking. :mrgreen:

    I just think that while everyone has the right to commit suicide, they should not try to take everyone with them. Heh... :mrgreen:

    Funnily enough, I do know some people who are engrossed about their health, and yet smoke. Haha.. It's really kinda ironic, since they are obsessed with buying and swallowing the latest health pills and exercising at the gym, and yet they smoke like chimneys. Kinda missing the point, isn't it? :think: :mrgreen:
  20. peaz

    peaz ARP Webmaster Staff Member

    I'd rather say, everyone has the choice, rather than right. No one, technically, has the right to commit suicide. I think if you are alive trying to do so, you can be charge by the court of law.. no?

    So while everyone has the choice to do anything they want, they certianly do not have the right to do each and ever one of the,.. hah

    anyways.... yea... on the second point. Yup.... such hypocrites

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