Top 10: Lies Men Tell Women

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by kenzoGaL, Jul 11, 2003.

  1. kenzoGaL

    kenzoGaL Newbie

    Here are 10 of the many lies men opt to tell. :twisted:

    Number 10

    No, you don't look fat
    The following situation is familiar to most guys in relationships: You and your girlfriend are preparing for a night out and, as you wait for her to finish up, she comes out of the bedroom and asks, "Do I look fat in this?"

    The best answer I have come up with is, "No, of course you don't look fat," followed by "you're beautiful" or other flattering comments.

    Other than ignoring your girlfriend's question, this is the only way to come out of the situation unscathed; your other answers will be twisted into something you didn't mean and door slamming will likely ensue. Whether or not she actually is giving Shamu a run for his money is irrelevant -- she feels chunky and your mission is to put her fears to rest.

    Number 9

    I don't enjoy going to strip joints
    Strip joints, like pornographic movies, appeal to our most primal instincts of sex, which few men (if any) can ignore. It's simply a shame that our girlfriends can't accept that we like seeing beautiful women dancing naked on stage.

    Despite this logic, the lie still propagates in relationships because it reassures your woman that there is no one else in the world worth fantasizing about. However, in reality, it's natural for us to enjoy this genre of entertainment, just as your girlfriend wouldn't admit to watching soap operas for the handsome men and romantic sex scenes.

    Number 8

    We'll talk about it later
    This little phrase helps most of us end an argument or potential squabble. In most cases, we really don't want to "talk about it later," we never want to talk about it. Putting off the possibility of a blowup gives us some time to underline the uselessness of arguing over something so minute.

    Although it's a potent tool in your arsenal, make sure not to use it too often, or else its underlying motives will become apparent.

    Number 7

    You remind me of Jennifer Lopez
    The ultimate compliment to a woman can also be your biggest lie. Comparing her to an incredibly beautiful movie star may raise her self-confidence, but let's face it; is she really that hot? Congrats to you if she is, but most of us cannot claim that big a prize.

    Our women are beautiful, but stretching the truth may actually do more harm than good in certain cases. It's all about timing -- don't lay it on too thick and you'll be getting breakfast in bed in no time.

    Number 6

    I love your cooking
    Since some women can't make toast without a recipe book, there has to be an "out" for guys who get stuck with the culinarily challenged. Your best bet is to grin and bear it. Hey, at least she's cooking for you.

    However, if you have to ingest antacids by the truckload, perhaps you should start offering to help out with dinner. Otherwise, you may end up having to eat blackened food for years to come.

    Number 5

    I don't think of other women
    Another denial of programmed emotions men face, this lie is usually called for, no matter how moral you are. You don't want to hurt your girlfriend, right? So, you have no choice but to deny that no other women (real or imaginary) are ever on your mind. If she believed you when you said, "I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you," this will be a piece of cake. Just be sure not to precede this lie with #7 on the list.

    Providing you don't think about other women all the time, you're in the clear because fantasizing or drooling over a hot babe in a magazine from time to time is no crime -- even a psychiatrist would tell you that.

    Number 4

    You can use my razor to shave your legs
    If the thought of your girlfriend's legs full of hairy fuzz wasn't unsightly enough, some men have to deal with a recycled razor -- that is, one of your own beard-busters. The thing is, confronting her about this may not be worth it, since the argument could really escalate. Instead, buy her a razor for when she spends the night at your place, and hide your own.

    Number 3

    I love Meg Ryan movies
    Some untruths exist simply to help you save your energy and this is certainly one of them. Instead of explaining how unrealistic, silly and boring romantic comedies are, it is better to simply tune out during the movie and reap the benefits of a happy, romantic-minded girlfriend afterward.

    Get yourself a big bag of popcorn, candy and a drink, and when you're done, head to the bathroom and chat it up with all the other guys who love Meg Ryan movies.

    Number 2

    I love spending time with your mom
    Sometimes, the key to a woman's heart is through her family, even though they may be more obnoxious than the Costanzas from Seinfeld. It is worth putting up with them if you get the girl, especially if you are really serious about the relationship. Admit to your girlfriend that you do, in fact, enjoy going over to her parents' house for dinner.

    A fortunate guy will have the best in-laws ever, but, if history is any indication, the odds of this are quite slim. Therefore, enduring her mother's quirks, comments and behavior becomes an important part of your repertoire, as does your insistence that family time is fun.

    Number 1

    I'm sorry
    Whether it's to escape a sticky situation or nip an argument in the bud, these two little words can come in quite handy. Used sparingly, this device is your greatest route to turning your girlfriend's scowl into a smile, if it's said with conviction. She could be going on about one of your idiosyncrasies or something you have said and all you have to do is stop her, say "I'm sorry" followed by a promise to change, and everything will be all right, at least for the time being.

    This phrase should be familiar, as it is the same one used when your mother scolded you as a child. As such, this lie has stood the test of time and remains the weapon of choice for many stricken males.

    you'd never lie

    And there you have it; some of the most popular lies we have up our sleeves in times of trouble. Of course, lying is wrong and you should never do it unless it's necessary. Honest.

  2. kenzoGaL

    kenzoGaL Newbie

    So.....u girls agree with the article above? :mrgreen:

    ain't it just so true ?.....just some tips specially for u girls.

    have some doubts next time... try to figure it out whether he's just plainly lying or telling the truth yea ;)
  3. Mad1

    Mad1 <b>Old Toad</b>

    I call those Survival Kits.. :lol: :lol: :silenced:
  4. Jeremy

    Jeremy Black Sheep

    LOL @ Mad1! A 'Must Know' if you're planning to start a relationship. HaHaHa!
  5. goldfries


    haha. the above rules don't work on all guys. definitely don't work on me. :p

    i tell my gf straight to the face, point-blank. i see no purpose is telling what's not true, only give people sense of false assurance and confidence. it's bad for the person you love, did you know that? :D
  6. Mad1

    Mad1 <b>Old Toad</b>

    Hey!...we're talking about life and death here you know. :mrgreen:
  7. drab

    drab Newbie

    OF COURSE I LOVE YOU!(to girl you are with up back alley :lol:
  8. goldfries


    hehe. if only you know how to show who's REAL person-in-charge. it's a mind game.
  9. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    For me I will most of the time tell the truth. Either you like it or not. :whistle:

    Coz sometimes lying is just too difficult. :|
  10. goldfries


    not only it's difficult, it's wrong.

    btw when u lie u need to be consistent. have to keep track.
  11. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    Wrong and right is just a matter of preference...

    Ok, for example... you gf has gotten fatter and you don't like it that much. Do you tell straight in the face... "Honey... lose some weight, you have gotten fatter."? No right? That's what I'm saying... you just need to twist around and put something into it... and there will be pieces of lies in the mix. :think:
  12. goldfries


    heh. i tell that straight.
  13. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    Then your gf must be the kind that 'can stand your bs' type. Hehe... don't lose her. She's a near to extinct type. :D
  14. Brian

    Brian Newbie

    i do not fit into no.9's terms......... :whistle:
    me got self control
  15. elton

    elton WhAtSuPdOc

    Hei guy some time we tell the true the gal dun like,,,,,but sometime want to make her happy tell the false. They will said we bluf her....hahaha susah la
  16. Brian

    Brian Newbie

    yalar, it always a catch 22 situation one when a girl asks questions like:
    do i look fat?
    and the infamouse, if i and your mother fell in the sea, which would you save first?
  17. Mad1

    Mad1 <b>Old Toad</b>

    A skill that you need and must learn to survive....... :mrgreen:
  18. Mad1

    Mad1 <b>Old Toad</b>

    Yeah!... right :roll: :roll: :mrgreen:
  19. Dashken

    Dashken Administrator!

    LOL! Good one Mad1. :D

    One question that's the most probable to be asked.
    "Why did you choose to marry me?" Or some similar versions...

    What do you answer? 8)
  20. elton

    elton WhAtSuPdOc

    Just tell them i will save myself 1st ahhaaaa

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